Stay at Home Mom

Genesis 29: 31-35

31 And when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.

32 And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the Lord hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me.

33 And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Because the Lord hath heard I was hated, he hath therefore given me this son also: and she called his name Simeon.

34 And she conceived again, and bare a son; and said, Now this time will my husband be joined unto me, because I have born him three sons: therefore was his name called Levi.

35 And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the Lord: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing.

I am apart of a mom’s group on Facebook, and I enjoy reading and giving encouragement. One lady posted a question that made this scripture come to mind. She posted: 

“If you could give your younger self some advice, what would it be?”

There were a few ladies who discussed not dating, or not giving themselves away physically, mentally or emotionally. Embrace your femininity early. Talk things out with a friend instead of burning bridges. All of these were great, but I said:

“Love God. Love yourself (every curve and curl) no matter who doesn’t. You are worthy of love, so don’t just take the negativity others throw your way. Give yourself grace. You don’t have to be perfect. Follow the dreams God gave you. You do deserve them. Your past doesn’t define you.”

My advice wasn’t better than the others, but I knew it was the advice I needed when I was younger. When I look at Leah’s situation, I think she may have needed the same advice.

Leah, the first wife of Jacob, felt hated by her husband. Jacob had worked seven years to marry Rachel, Leah’s younger sister. The custom of the time was that the older sister should marry first, so their father, Laban, tricked Jacob into marrying Leah to fulfill the custom. Because of that deception, Jacob worked seven more years to have Rachel.

Can you imagine being unwanted by your spouse? It must have been difficult being in her shoes. It’s possible that she felt lonely, insufficient, and unappreciated. Leah had seven years of marriage with Jacob before Rachel married him. Even after that time, he still wanted Rachel.

I can’t condone what Laban did. He tricked a man into marrying both of his daughters. Leah tried to appease Jacob by having his sons. Reuben, Simon, and Levi were desperate attempts to get him to love her. Even going through labor three times wasn’t enough to convince Jacob she was worthy of love. By the time she had Judah, she understood that he would never love her. She decided to praise the Lord for what she had, and the expectations she had for Jacob was gone.

How many of us go through our day seeking acceptance and approval from others? I know I do. Sometimes, I get caught up in what the world says is right. I get caught up in what my family says is right. I get caught up in what my friends say is right. As I get caught up listening to everyone else, I miss what God says is right for me. Producing for the acknowledgment of man, then to end up feeling unloved, criticized, overlooked, unappreciated, and outcasted in the end. 

No more. God blessed me with this word, and I don’t need your permission to praise Him for it. I won’t wait for someone to love the abilities that God gave me. I won’t wait for acknowledgment from others about the calling on my life. “Now, will I praise the Lord?” Yes, I will praise Him, now! Because He deserves it. He has been here with me when others left. He has been here when others turned their backs on me. He has been there when I was or felt unloved. He has been there when I was in sin, and He is with me now when I spread His good news. 

His love is unconditional, so we don’t have to constantly produce to earn it. Leah knew Jacob loved her sister, Rachel, so she tried to give him the thing that Rachel could not. She desired affection so much that she went through pregnancy four times. When she gave birth to Judah, she decided that she would praise God in her situation. 

My husband doesn’t love me, but I will praise You anyway. My family says I’m not enough, but I will praise You anyway. My boss says I’m replaceable, but I praise you anyway. I don’t see what You see when I look in the mirror, but I will praise You anyway. The praise lets God know that you believe everything will work out for your good. It lets Him know that you are trusting the process. It lets Him know that you are aware He is with you, and that’s enough for you. I’m satisfied with you, Lord. You are more than enough for me.

Prayer: Father of heaven and earth, Creator of the universe, Lord of lords, King of kings, the great I Am, I just want to say thank you for who You are in our lives. Thank You for everything that You’ve given, and thank You for everything You’ve taken away. Yes, I am grateful for the things You didn’t allow me to have so that I may have a better life and relationship with You. The things I thought would have brought joy, You knew it would not have after some time. The people I wanted to associate with were not the people You had in mind for me. I thank You for bringing positive energy into my life with the friends I do have. I thank You for giving me unconditional love because You knew this world didn’t offer it. I pray that every person who reads this post will experience that love. If life disappoints them, they can be satisfied with You. I give You all the glory, honor, and praise in advance. In Jesus’ name I pray.

Sincerely Your Sister,

JJJ.