Stay at Home Mom

As a mom, I want my daughter to always be okay: no pain, heartbreak, or stress. However, I know I cannot save her from everything, just like my mother couldn’t save me from everything. It wasn’t from a lack of trying, but it was because there were certain things I was meant to go through.

There are some who are reading this blog and wondering why they are going through a certain situation. Others are wondering why they are going through a situation over and over again. The hurt seems unbearable, and it doesn’t look like there is an end to it.

The scripture that came to mind was not what I expected to reference when I wrote this title. This is definitely what Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts would call a “hijacked message.” She also introduced me to the scripture God has placed on my heart today. It comes to the book I dreaded reading the most, Revelation.

The reason I didn’t want to read this book was because of the idea of the world ending. Even in movies and books if I can’t see a happily ever after ending, I abort the mission of finishing it. I am ruined by the fairytales I grew up knowing. I know in reality that happy endings sometimes don’t happen, but I want them written for every work that I come across.

Now that I have been exposed to this promise, I have to share it with you. Revelation 12 is about a woman who’s in the middle of giving birth. Ladies with children, you know this place. It’s not pretty. A lot is going on with your body when you’re in labor. I know all I wanted was my baby out of me. Can you imagine going through labor and a threat being in front of you?

In this scripture, the devil comes in the form of a dragon with seven heads. This dragon claims he will take the child she is in the process of birthing. I don’t know about you, but I would be stressed out. Who’s going to save my baby? I carried this blessing for so long just for someone to say they will take it. Carrying and nurturing this relationship for all these years to see it fall apart. Putting everything that I have into this business to have to end up filing for bankruptcy.

We all have struggles and the hurt that comes with them. God is there through it all. In fact, God is with this woman and already has the plan to protect the blessing she is carrying. Once God takes the child out of reach from the dragon, the woman goes to the wilderness and stays for over three years.

I wonder what she did in those three years alone. Why couldn’t she have been sent to a village for protection? A place where she knew the people and they could help her heal from the labor. She shouldn’t have to be by herself. 

Maybe God needed to heal some things in her, just like He has to do with us. She needed this place of isolation to grow into the woman that God called her to be. That takes time, space, and patience.

God, you promised me a life of abundance, but I am still waiting to not have to live paycheck to paycheck. God, you promised me a healthy relationship with my family, but all I see is bickering, jealousy, and judgment where there should be love.

God didn’t take the promise away. He is protecting the promise from the things that mean to kill, steal, and destroy it. He is also preparing you to receive your blessing fully by allowing you the time to heal. Healing is necessary to be able to live a life of joy.

Something that I found interesting was while the woman was healing up and finding herself, the angels were fighting on her behalf. See, she was never truly alone. Even when the devil comes after her later, she knows that the safest place to be is in the wilderness. He tries to send a flood to drown her, along with all the hope and dreams she discovered in the wilderness.

This is how I know that God was with her. The earth opened up and swallowed the flood that was meant to drown her. The depression. The heartbreak. The insecurities. The shame. The feeling of being not enough. The lies. The fears. The loneliness. The sickness. The earth is opening up and swallowing it whole. Your connection with God could be so strong that the earth will open up to protect you and your promise. Doors will open that should have remained closed. Overflow in your home, job, and health beyond your wildest dreams, but it all starts in the wilderness.

In a place where no one has gone before, unsettled and wild. Healing is there. Wholeness is in there. Peace is in there. Joy is in there. The breaking of generational curses is in there. The building of generational blessings is in there. The truth is in there. Salvation is in there.

I’m ready to be wild for my daughter’s future. For my family. For my friends. For you all. For the things God has in store for us. Most importantly, for my Savior, who is with me in the wilderness and helping me with my healing and growth.

I pray that He will continue to use this blog to help anyone in need of healing from hurt. That He will reach you where you are and show you the love you need in this season. To shelter you from the attacks of the enemy. That He will do exceedingly, abundantly, and above all you can ask for in your wilderness.

Sincerely Your Sister,

JJJ.